F5: Alt VIEW

That ten-dollar Super Target Buddha looks carefree
by John Foster

>FEBRUARY 23, 2006

And now for something completely different
PBS brings back Monty Python for a short, grand run.
by Mike Marlett

The wisdom of Lao Tzu in two parts
Part 2, wherein 196 used books get bought for $41.74.
by John Foster

>FEBRUARY 16, 2006

Scandals making you ill? Good luck
by Mike Marlett

The wisdom of Lao Tzu, in two parts
Part 1, wherein a man escapes Austin, does a little reading.
by John Foster

>FEBRUARY 9, 2006

See you in the funny pages
Why is American media so affraid of these cartoons?
by Mike Marlett

>FEBRUARY 2, 2006

State of the … blah blah blah
A Cliffs Notes version (Applause.) of a very long speech.
by Mike Marlett

State of the Union is a speech from the throne
The address has shown an increasing lack of humility in our presidents.
by Gene Healy, The Cato Institute

>JANUARY 26, 2006

Democrats get ready to attack
Republican scandals and erosion of our rights set the stage for at least eating a little pizza.
by Mike Marlett

Ramblings
The sound of one hand clapping
by Mike Marlett

>JANUARY 19, 2006

'Freedom isn't free' and other stuff
by Mike Marlett

Dinosaur hero is still a work-in-progress
by John Foster

>JANUARY 12, 2006

Book of Daniel is … ah, who gives a damn, I'm watching Battlestar Galactica
KSNW's misguided effort to pull a national show is derailed, but that doesn't make it a good (or bad) show.
by Mike Marlett

>JANUARY 5, 2006

Another year older, again
by Mike Marlett

>DECEMBER 29, 2005

Top 20 random thoughts on 2005
And by "top 20" we don't mean that they are really in that order.
by Mike Marlett

>DECEMBER 22, 2005

'Intelligence' is smartly misused
by Mike Marlett

Christian right still largely ignorant of Xmas
I don't care what you call the holiday, just buy me a drink on it.
by Bill Jenkins

>DECEMBER 15, 2005

The atheism problem has to go
by Mike Marlett

>DECEMBER 8, 2005

It's time for me to make things up
As the end of college semesters come near, my phone is ringing off the hook.
by Mike Marlett

It's the health care, stupid
by Bill Jenkins

>DECEMBER 1, 2005

The case for (and against) vouchers
by Mike Marlett

>NOVEMBER 24, 2005

Thankful? Yeah, all the time
by Mike Marlett

>NOVEMBER 17, 2005

F5 has a new owner, and that's OK
by Mike Marlett

>NOVEMBER 10, 2005

Thank God for evolution, I guess
by Mike Marlett

>NOVEMBER 3, 2005

Democrats finally grow spines
by Mike Marlett

Insulating the mortal coil through the stars
by Curt Clonts

>OCTOBER 27, 2005

Parks reminds us of a serious legacy
by Mike Marlett

>OCTOBER 20, 2005

Tallgrass will entertain, honor
by Mike Marlett

>OCTOBER 13, 2005

Shortgrass will have all the trimmings
It just won't be as long.
by Mike Marlett

The boys of war still linger inside
by Curt Clonts

>OCTOBER 6, 2005

Education through destruction
Bob L. Corkins will try to dismantle our public schools.
by Mike Marlett

>SEPTEMBER 29, 2005

Final Friday has some new players
by Mike Marlett

Man titties, coffee enemas and 12 f-bombs
Don't say you weren't warned.
by Curt Clonts

>SEPTEMBER 22, 2005

Please stop sending me stupid email
by Mike Marlett

The Fair almost feels like the first time
by Jake Euker

>SEPTEMBER 15, 2005

What? Me worry? It's only 9/11
by Mike Marlett

The State Fair changes while it stays the same
by Jake Euker

>SEPTEMBER 8, 2005

Get on your bikes and ride, kids
by Mike Marlett

Notations from a fly on the wall…
by Bill Jenkins

>SEPTEMBER 1, 2005

My bad, but not bad enough
by Mike Marlett

>AUGUST 25, 2005

Conservative think tank can't think
by Mike Marlett

These foul deeds of dust and ash
by John Foster

>AUGUST 18, 2005

Lame-ass column needs headline
OK, not really.
by Mike Marlett

Why not adult entertainment businesses?
(Or 'embracing porn for fun and profit')
by Bill Jenkins

>AUGUST 11, 2005

F5 will have more news, I promise
Mike Marlett

Opinion line
A parody
by Jake Euker

The battlefield where the moon says 'I love you'
by John Foster

>AUGUST 4, 2005

He said one word to me, and that was 'death'
As Timothy would say, "So, yeah, anyway, back to me."
by Mike Marlett

I was honored to have McElmurry as a friend
by Michael Carmody

Costumes for the darker needs that drive us
by John Foster

>JULY 28, 2005

Timothy Gruver, 33, lived to fulfill his vision of a cultured Wichita
by Mike Marlett

>JULY 21, 2005

Constant change is the only hope
by Mike Marlett

>JULY 14, 2005

Just so you know, the dog died
by Mike Marlett

Opinion line
A parody
by Jake Euker

Another wasted trip
by John Foster

>JULY 7, 2005

Dog days of summer get literal
by Mike Marlett

>JUNE 30, 2005

After 30 years, BTK is finally creepy
by Mike Marlett

'Ring of Fire' lights the way
by John Foster

My cup runneth over at Precious Moments Park
by Trix Niernberger

>JUNE 23, 2005

Public broadcasting still valuable
by Mike Marlett

Who do you wanna be today, "Mitsy," "Metsy," "Bitsy," or "Betsy"?
by Curt Clonts

>JUNE 16, 2005

Student press still under attack
by Mike Marlett

Opinion line
A parody
by Jake Euker

Stumbling into hammered aggressions
by John Foster

>JUNE 9, 2005

Wakarusa is all about good times
by Mike Marlett

Past the pawnshop and into the brink
by John Foster

>JUNE 2, 2005

My dog cannot lie, and that's OK
by Mike Marlett

Opinion line
A parody
by Jake Euker

My daughter was a baby orangutan
by Curt Clonts

>MAY 26, 2005

Star Wars finale tells a solid middle
by Mike Marlett

Finding the pointy end of Curt Clonts
by Curt Clonts

You might be a red stater if…
with apologies to Jeff Foxworthy
by Bill Jenkins

>MAY 19, 2005

May the Force be with evolution
by Mike Marlett

Opinion line
A parody
by Jake Euker

The same moon shines, the same wind blows
by John Foster

>MAY 12, 2005

Tsefrevir cures the Riverfest blues
by Mike Marlett

Things I done wrong, but not all of them
by John Foster

>MAY 5, 2005

Developers have moxie, buildings
by Mike Marlett

The baby's blanket blue of a quarter-ounce
by John Foster

Local media outlets lacking good criticism
by Jim Snell

>APRIL 28, 2005

F5 supports tragedy survivors, good times and works of faith
We aren't sure why we sponsor all these things, but we do.
by Mike Marlett

Opinion line
A parody
by Jake Euker

Cycling puts hair on your chest
by Curt Clonts

>APRIL 21, 2005

Clever? What the hell was I thinking?
by Mike Marlett

>APRIL 14, 2005

April is Alcohol Awareness Month, hallelujah
by Mike Marlett

Opinion line
A parody
by Jake Euker

>APRIL 7, 2005

Well, I hope we're happy
(And don't let anyone say that we're gay.)
by Mike Marlett

Pesticides, herbicides are poison, after all
by Trix Niernberger

>MARCH 31, 2005

Election looks grim, but vote
by Mike Marlett

Opinion Line
A parody
by Jake Euker

>MARCH 24, 2005

Stupid and dangerous, our government stumbles around
by Mike Marlett

Car peddlers, clergymen, and a daydream
by Curt Clonts

Put wind farms where they use 'em
by Bill Jenkins

A serial killer's dilemma
by Jim Snell

>MARCH 17, 2005

Black Eyed Peas? Really? Wow
by Mike Marlett

Opinion Line
A parody
by Jake Euker

>MARCH 10, 2005

Let's get us some ol' pettifogging
by Mike Marlett

>MARCH 3, 2005

BTK suspect a churchgoing Republican
And let me just say that I'm not shocked. We all have demons.
by Mike Marlett

Police's BTK press conference was a fiasco
City officials made Wichita look like a town of rubes on national TV
by Jim Snell

Opinion line
A parody
by Jake Euker

>FEBRUARY 24, 2005

No hugging, no sports
by Mike Marlett

Sticker shock not just for cars
by Bill Jenkins

Latex is better than nothing
by Trix Niernberger

>FEBRUARY 17, 2005

Authority, you… me… outside
John Mellencamp might be the perfect musician, if he'll just play my song
by Mike Marlett

Every man has a dancing flute
by Curt Clonts

>FEBRUARY 10, 2005

Evolution is not just a theory
by Mike Marlett

>FEBRUARY 3, 2005

Three dogs and an attorney general
by Mike Marlett

A few good rules for growing boys
by Curt Clonts

>JANUARY 27, 2005

Johnny's death covers black-ops scandal
by Mike Marlett

Library better than fad plan
by Elizabeth Stevenson

>JANUARY 20, 2005

The myth of gay lifestyle is fading fast
Old conservatives are moving fast to keep their dying ideals.
by Mike Marlett

Happy hour brings glasses of beer happiness
by Elizabeth Stevenson

>JANUARY 13, 2005

Need any firewood? Me either
The ice storm hit everyone, leftist newspaper editors included.
by Mike Marlett

Now even starving artists can drink Chateau d'Yquems
by Elizabeth Stevenson

Progresso and tongue-kisses from my dog
Stories from a lonely guy.
by Curt Clonts

>JANUARY 6, 2005

I have a point in here somewhere
And I'm not afraid to use it, if I can find it.
by Mike Marlett

When cooler heads prevail
by Elizabeth Stevenson

>DECEMBER 30, 2004

The end of something
by John Foster

New Year, same questions
by Elizabeth Stevenson

From Red Ball Jet to The Cobra Movement
by Curt Clonts

>DECEMBER 23, 2004

'Tis the season (for dinner wines)
by Elizabeth Stevenson

>DECEMBER 16, 2004

The best defense is a bit offensive
by Bill Jenkins

The joy of ownership
by Elizabeth Stevenson

>DECEMBER 9, 2004

The new witch hunt
by Elizabeth Stevenson

>DECEMBER 2, 2004

Always read beer labels
by Elizabeth Stevenson

>NOVEMBER 25, 2004

Crappola: For the love of digital
Sorry we're so small this week
by Mike Marlett

>NOVEMBER 18, 2004

Beaujolais Nouveau season is here
Fruity red wine inspires a fall midnight sampling
by Elizabeth Stevenson

>NOVEMBER 11, 2004

Starbucks can kiss my beans
by Mike Marlett

I know what you're going to buy
Part II of III — Wine, Beer and Spirits
by Elizabeth Stevenson

>NOVEMBER 4, 2004

A(n election) day in the life
by Michael Carmody

Please bury me in College Hill Park
(where the stoned ponies once roamed)
by Curt Clonts

Cameras invade human body
by Trix Niernberger

How I got to be so interested in wine
by Elizabeth Stevenson

My favorite books when I was doing time
by John Foster

>OCTOBER 28, 2004

Bush is terrorizing America
by Michael Carmody

Can the downtown arena and the arts coexist?
by Ed Wolverton

Coliseum's problems aren't in its bricks
by Mike Marlett

I know what you're going to buy
Part I of III — Beer, Spirits and Wine
by Elizabeth Stevenson

>OCTOBER 21, 2004

Weirdness on the opium trail
by John Foster

"But I am 21" and other things not to say
by Elizabeth Stevenson

The only dad I've ever had
by Curt Clonts

An arena? How about wads of cash
by Jim Snell

>OCTOBER 14, 2004

Call me "Mr. Cynical"
Having been around the block a time or two, it's hard not to see some things coming
by Bill Jenkins

Finding a bidet to suit your nose
by Elizabeth Stevenson

>OCTOBER 7, 2004

Taking the night bus to Kirby's
by John Foster

How to make a Cristal-clear impression
by Elizabeth Stevenson

>SEPTEMBER 30, 2004

High and lonesome at Walnut Valley
by John Foster

Have you invited Jesus into your 6-pack?
by Elizabeth Stevenson

Woofstock is all about the pets
by Kristin Strole

>SEPTEMBER 23, 2004

The indefatigable Wichita streets
All roads lead to Rome, unless they are under construction.
by John Foster

Moving with Curt Clonts
Satanic home appliances and bloody box springs conspire.
by Curt Clonts

>SEPTEMBER 16, 2004

Tallgrass ready for a new year
The festival's second year looks to be a star-studded gala affair.
by Mike Marlett

Just frickin' dog
"After the first death, there is no other." — Dylan Thomas
by John Foster

WSU's Mikrokosmos needs you
by Barb Kopececk

>SEPTEMBER 9, 2004

Wichita a haven for liberal media
Satellite radio program finds its
(let's face it, centrist more than liberal)
broadcast business booming in our conservative market.
by Mike Marlett

P.S. Burton and me
A tale of consumption, greed and mediocre porn.
by John Foster

>SEPTEMBER 2, 2004

More trouble with the obvious
Was there a connection between the heart and the inner ear?
by John Foster

A boy and his bike
by Curt Clonts

Male gene holds link to video camera
by Trix Niernberger

>AUGUST 26, 2004

Let he who is without sin…
If you want to talk about a war record, let's talk about yours
by Bill Jenkins

God help me, I'm farting dust
by Curt Clonts

>AUGUST 19, 2004

Visioneer this!
We've got a 12-step, er, 11-step program for a better future.
by Bill Jenkins

Cathedral of cardboard
by John Foster

>AUGUST 12, 2004

I'm not BTK (at least I don't think so)
When you fit the profile of a serial killer, your best defense is a Q-Tip.
by Bill Jenkins

America turns the corner into a dark alley
by Michael Carmody

>AUGUST 5, 2004

Rants and Raves
Letters to the editor

>JULY 29, 2004

The blue fear of love
by John Foster

>JULY 22, 2004

Surviving the storm of Guerilla Fest
by John Foster

>JULY 15, 2004

Making music with Sinkhole and Hank
by John Foster

>JULY 8, 2004

It's alive! It's alive!
The Supreme Court starts to grow a spine and read the Constitution.
by Bill Jenkins

My Fourth of July: a report from the field
by John Foster

>JULY 1, 2004

My obligatory Fahrenheit 9/11 column
I hope the public reaction means that people are sick and tired of being spoon-fed information.
by Michael Carmody

>JUNE 24, 2004

An ode to small coffee shops
by John Foster

Graven images cause problems
by Ken Boe

>JUNE 17, 2004

Moving America backward
or, 'We'll do the thinking for you'
by Michael Carmody

A scrapyard lullabye
by John Foster

How does your garden grow?
by Trix Niernberger

>JUNE 10, 2004

Frank discussion on Kansas politics
New book looks at the reasons behind the baffling rise of the extreme right in Kansas.
by Michael Carmody

>JUNE 3, 2004

Radios give some people static
Now, don't get me wrong. I'm not blaming anybody for my radio woes. I'm simply not a big fan.
by John Foster

>MAY 27, 2004

Busking blues in Old Town
by John Foster

Guilt is a diamond mine of inspiration
by Ken Boe

>MAY 20, 2004

Southern comfort
Street Survivor lends a hand to tragedy-stricken family
by Michael Carmody

Looking for love at the River Festival
by John Foster

Check your luggage and check out toilets
by Trix Niernberger

>MAY 13, 2004

At long last, have we no decency?
9/11 did not happen because "the terrorists hate freedom," and if you believe that, you have either had a lobotomy, or quite possibly are in need of one.
by Michael Carmody

Of bluegrass, prison farms and the night
by John Foster

Art mail should be the new face of junk
by Ken Boe

>MAY 6, 2004

How we lost the war
The war on terror and the war in Iraq are failed efforts because of bad foriegn policy by our hawkish president.
by Bill Jenkins

Public radio after After Midnight
by Trix Niernberger

Public art should model itself on advertising
by Ken Boe

Down and out in Wichita
by John Foster

>APRIL 29, 2004

What's so public about public radio?
Wichita's public radio should sound like Wichita, not London, not Boston, not New York City.
by Michael Carmody

Yesterday Discs, we hardly knew ye
Store closings mark a shift in a way of enjoying music, life
by John Foster

Billboards should be used for art
by Ken Boe

>APRIL 22, 2004

Creative disruption starts here
Wichita can step up to the plate and better itself with new ideas about art.
by Ken Boe

>APRIL 15, 2004

We need Tanya's more than Cox
Giant corporate decision makers will drive this city into the ground with blandness if we let them
by Ken Boe

Wichita entrepreneur launches new venture
by Trix Niernberger

You never graduate from the school of blues
by John Foster

>APRIL 8, 2004

City should cash in on BTK Hunt
by Jim Snell

Collaboration is the new key to creativity
by Ken Boe

>APRIL 1, 2004

Mob space dump found on Mars
by Michael Carmody

>MARCH 25, 2004

Journalism making a comeback
by Michael Carmody

Wichita's creative infrastructure needs to be nurtured for growth
by Ken Boe

>MARCH 18, 2004

Readers' music picks roll in
For those who missed it, I asked readers to suggest which CD I should buy with the $13.86 settlement I received in the record industry antitrust lawsuit.
by Michael Carmody

>MARCH 11, 2004

Electability is the new capability
No one believed that Ulysses S. Grant was a solid thinker on political issues. Zachary Taylor admitted that he had never even voted. But they were electable.
by Bill Jenkins

Rock me, fearless readers!
You'll never see Cal Thomas asking for help picking a CD.
by Michael Carmody

Ratteh brings people together for 30 minutes
by Jessy Clonts

>MARCH 4, 2004

Sympathy for the record industry
by Michael Carmody

Beautiful, calm nights mark Japan
by Jessy Clonts

Flat rats and dead designers donít sell
Every year billions of dollars are spent on advertising — for one purpose: to influence you. Ads Nauseam™ reviews and grades the result.
by Jim Snell